Bits and bobs

I been gathering this post all week. It seems like my blogging thoughts are in random little pieces these days. I’m sure I could find something long and worthy to write, but I just can’t be bothered. Here are my thoughts as they are.

Earlier this week, Paxlet said “olet tuhma” (according to Mr Siili) and I thought Paxlet had said “tyhmä”.

tyhmä a stupid, unintelligent, foolish, soft-headed, brainless, dopey, obtuse, fool (yl am), daft (br), dim-witted, dozy (br), drippy, dumb (henkilöstä), gormless (br) Onpa tyhmä kysymys What a stupid question

tuhma a 1 naughty 2 bad (worse, worst) 3 rude, wicked tuhma vitsi a rude joke ■ a 4 (rivo) naughty, rude

As you can see neither word is very nice. And calling someone stupid just raises my hackles. I learned and experienced early on in my Finnish life that kids often call their parents, friends and just about anyone that displeases them “tyhmä”. And it irritates me to no end. I’ve tried explaining it to other Finns that calling someone stupid is fighting words. You don’t say that unless you really mean it. Does anyone else feel this way or am I a lone American on this feeling?

The next morning, Paxlet called his overalls “tuhma”. And then in the next sentence he said to me “Olet ruohon leikkuri” aka “You are a grass cutter” aka “lawnmower”. Now, at first I just laughed. But as I got to think about it during the day, he loves machines and he does like the lawnmower, so he must really like me. 😀 I know he likes me because he has told me so. He has also told me “Paxlet happy boy” and “Paxlet momma boy”.

Many of the buses, their routes and numbers changed at the beginning of the summer. The bus I take most regularly was #22, now #9. The other thing that changed was that once an hour, the bus actually comes past my house to its end spot and then turns around. All other times, it is a 7-8 minute walk to the closest stop. I love having a bus stop in front of my house, plus it works well for going to and coming home from work. However, since these stops are new(ish), many of the bus drivers still haven’t figured out where to stop or how to use the end turn-around. I’ve had to walk around the bus to get into (instead of stepping up into the bus from the curb) it a few times. And we’ve even had the bus driver go past our stop! Not that it is such a big deal, as it is only a 2-3 minute walk home from the end, but hey! the driver missed our stop, right in front of our house! After this last incident, I happened to take the same bus from the same driver the very next day and he recognized me. He even called out to me as I got off the bus saying as how our stops now have their official signs!

Living in a newly developed and developing area, there is still lots of construction going on. Across the street from us used to be a forest. Now most of the trees are cut down and the land leveled. The cool part is that we have 4 diggers across street from us. It is a young boys’ (and girls’) dream come true! They get to watch diggers, dump trucks and other big vehicles, come and go and work. We’ve spent quite a bit of time watching them this last year.

We’re planning on visiting my family in the US later this year. The tickets are expensive and the trip long. However, Mr Siili’s sleuth and research skills look like they have paid off and we’ll hopefully be getting a good deal on both. Well under 3k€ round trip and only about 24 hours of total travel time, each way.
I am looking forward to buying things from the US! And seeing family too. I need some more toothpaste, deodorant, underwear, some maternity clothes (much cheaper than here), candy (different than Finland) and other random things I think of while there.
My family doesn’t say Paxlet’s (real) name quite correctly. I know that I/we chose Paxlet’s name what it is so that it would be easily said and mostly correct the world over. But, I would have also hoped that my family would try to say it the way it is meant to be said: with an a (father) and not an ä (cat). I wonder if it will change when we are there and they will hear it more often from us.

Paxlet speaks more Finnish than English, but he understands both languages without a problem. Some things/phrases he says in English and when he spend more time with me, he will use a bit more English, but still the majority of his words are in Finnish. However, he does spit out gems like the following. I was putting my foot in the door way so he couldn’t slam close the door. He said: Momma foot way. Äiti väistä jalka. (Momma move foot.)

And last, but not least, I am halfway done with Written In My Own Heart’s Blood, book 8 of the Outlander series. I know I will feel lost for a bit after finishing it. Thankfully I have the TV series I can watch and re-watch if I have serious enough with drawls.

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a plane ticket, just for the two of us

And by the two of us, I’m talking about Paxlet and myself.

My youngest sibling, a brother, is getting married this summer. I’m happy for him, even if I do think he is a bit young to be getting married. I would love to go and see him get married. The problem is that I live in Finland and they live on the west coast, near the rest of my family. When I first heard of the wedding, it was going to be next summer, which I thought would be great as we could most likely make that. Then, I heard it will be this summer and I was quite bummed as  Mr Siili and I just hadn’t planned or budgeted a trip to the US any time in the near future.

Then, on Monday while I was Skypeing with my dad, my stepmom came into the room (out of the picture, but I could still hear her voice) and asked what I thought if they (my dad and stepmom) were to buy me and Paxlet a plane ticket to visit this summer, during the wedding? The way she worded it made me ask “What about Mr Siili? Do you just want Paxlet and I there, or is Mr Siili invited too?”. In short, she went on to say that she/they* would prefer that only the two of us come. She is upset (still) by the way Mr Siili treated me 2 years ago when we were in the US for my mom’s funeral (I have no idea what she is referring to) and that in her opinion Mr Siili and I have the same sort of relationship that she and my dad have and while she can handle her own relationship, she doesn’t want to see me being treated the same way my dad treats her. (In my opinion, she also still has issues with Mr Siili and me from even further back.) She did want to make it clear that no one there hates Mr Siili (previous issues), they just think it would be a more pleasant and relaxed visit if it were just the two of us. Plus, they really just want to meet Paxlet and visit with me. I told them I would have to discuss this with Mr Siili.

My heart grew heavy as soon as I heard my stepmom’s words. Not more drama… I knew this wouldn’t go over well with Mr Siili and boy, was I right. He said if his friends or family ever invited just him and didn’t want me there, he wouldn’t even have to discuss it with me, he’d immediately have an issue with the person/people and not go. While I understand where Mr Siili is coming from, I also know that even though my stepmom said “we”, it was really just her feelings. I can’t imagine my dad, sister or brothers feeling that way. And thankfully when I did call my dad today, he confirmed that.

Ugh! There is a lot of drama and back story I am leaving out of this post, but I just don’t wan to to get into it all. Basically, I would really like to go and see my little brother get married and my family (minus my stepmom right now), but I don’t know how this will play out. Things are not so good with my dad and stepmom and if I do end up going there, why would I want to spend time with my stepmom if she and my dad aren’t getting along? Plus, there is no way in hell she is going to take care of Paxlet the entire time like she tried doing with her brother’s child when they visited recently! There will be some words had if it comes to that.

*Most issues that were brought up for why it would be more pleasant without Mr Siili visiting were said using “we”. Meaning my whole family thought that, but it just so happened to be that my stepmom was the one that voiced it.

Family was here

Paxlet and I put them on a bus this morning headed for Helsinki to catch their first flight towards home and I cried for over 30 minutes after that. I think the only reason I stopped when I did was because I started cleaning as soon as Pax and I got home. Hey, when the boy is sleeping, it’s the time to get things done!

Phew, what a week! This past week with my dad and sister was great! It was a long week, yet it was very short. Before they arrived, the weather forecast said it was going to be quite cold (-15C) the first couple of days they would be here, but the coldness came early and it wasn’t that cold (-8C to -2C) during their visit. They even said it was “warm” the last couple of days they were here. Thankfully it wasn’t that cold, as it allowed us to wander around downtown and be outside without freezing too badly.

We didn’t really do too much while my dad and sister visited. The first day they were here was Finnish Independence day and no stores were open. So, all of us just took a walk around the neighborhood and let my family recover from traveling a bit. The rest of the time we spent downtown at the open air Christmas market, the stable yards (another open air market), in a few regular stores and then at home hanging out. Mainly we just wanted to spend time together, especially with Pax, which we did!

Paxlet seemed to enjoy the time with his Grandpa and Auntie. Lots of talking, smiles and laughs all around. Pax didn’t have any problems with them holding him from day one, which is great because my family is just in love with our little guy. It was great seeing my dad with Paxlet. So sweet. gentle and loving. Paxlet looks (and is) so small when compared to my dad. I probably should have gotten some pictures that better showed their differences, especially the hands. My back was very thankful to have had other people holding Pax a lot of the time this past week. I hope this bit of respite for my back will continue.

My sister spent most of her money she brought with her to buy Christmas gifts. She made it clear when she arrived that that was her intent: she was going to spend as much as she wanted and how she wanted. The reason she stated it so clearly is that when she was here the first time (12 years ago), she was only 16 and my dad and I sort of controlled her the small amount of money she had and what she could or couldn’t spend it on. This time around, she wasn’t going to let that happen. LOL. She definitely spent it this time and had lots of fun doing it.

In typical male fashion, our dad’s not so good about shopping. So my sister and I helped our dad with ideas for his Christmas shopping. To give him credit, our stepmom and one of our brothers aren’t the easiest people to shop for. My sister and I do think we did a good job in helping him out though.

An added bonus to my dad and sister visiting is that they brought me and Pax tons of stuff! (Mr Siili didn’t really want anything, but might benefit from some of the items, at least indirectly.) The biggest thing they brought me was a brand new laptop!!! Now there won’t be any issues with Skype-calls with family whenever, not that there was issues before, but my stepmom felt otherwise. Other things that my dad and sister brought were:
– two sheepskins (they were our mom’s) that we can use in Paxlet’s stroller during the winter to help him stay warm,
– some toys (wooden stacking boxes, giraffe finger puppet, wooden balls, driftwood blocks) and costumes (frog & dragon/dinosaur) for Pax,
– food and candy (brewer’s yeast, cream of tartar, vanilla extract, food coloring, Reese’s pieces trees & bells, (American) Smarties, grits, some cake mixes, tapioca pearls, Skittles & Starbursts, Lifesavers…),
– some paintings,
– a knitted lion my mom had made (it found it’s way to me after all!!),
– toys that I ordered from Amazon for Pax (stacking cups, Boomerings and Rock-a-stack)
I am sure there is more stuff I’m just not remembering right now. I know for a fact that their suitcases are much lighter going home now.

My smiling baby boy has awoke from his nap so it is  time to go play with him. I hope to write up a few stories from my dad and sister’s visit. In the meantime, I’m wishing my dad and sister a safe and pleasant trip home! And happy birthday to my only sister!

Paxlet’s grandpa and aunt coming to visit

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it or not (and I’m too lazy to go look), but my dad and sister are coming to visit at the beginning of December! That’s right, Paxlet is going to meet his grandpa and aunt on my side of the family for the first time! I’m so freaking thrilled that they are coming! They’ll only be here for a week, so we’re going to have to pack a lot of stuff into that short time.

This will be only the second time anyone from my family has come to Finland in the 13 years I’ve lived here. The last time was 12 years ago when my grandma (dad’s mom), dad and sister visited. My mom said she would visit if I ever got a child, but she didn’t live to see this happen. So, having my dad, and sister, visit is the closest I’m going to get to that. This makes their visit all the more important and exciting.

I knew that when I moved half a world away to be with Mr Siili that it would be harder to see my family. I also knew my family doesn’t travel much and that it would be and has been up to me (and Mr Siili) to go visit them. I’ve known this all along. But, now that Paxlet is here this reality is hitting me harder than I thought it would be. I’m coming to realize just how little Paxlet is going to see my side of the family, other than via the video Skype chats we have. And as my stepmom pointed out not too long ago, we’ll mostly only be faces on a TV screen/computer monitor to each other.

There are some thoughts jumbled in my head and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get them out in a way that conveys what I am feeling and thinking, but I’m going to try anyway.

In the past, my stepmom, mom and I had some issues. I feel that my stepmom and I have worked through some of them, at least enough to be civil and on decent terms again. With my mom, I feel we worked through things more, but nothing is ever perfect. My mom had told me that the one thing that would get her to travel and visit me in Finland was if I had a baby. Then my mom had a heart attack and died 6 months before I got pregnant. I never got to have my mom come see my life here and see that I am truly happy here. Before Paxlet was born, my stepmom and dad were excited to get their first grandchild. We were even Skyping most weekends and it was great. My dad even said he’d come visit once Paxlet arrived. Then, a few weeks after Paxlet was born, my stepmom wasn’t so enthusiastic anymore and said that she just couldn’t handle only seeing Paxlet via Internet. She needs to smell, hold and snuggle him, as she is a very hands on and ‘irght in front of you’ sort of person. It was also suggested that we (Paxlet, Mr Siili and I) travel to the US instead, my parents would pay. For several reasons, that’s not happening, at least not for now. I was feeling extremely disappointed because I knew if my mom was here, she’d come visit. And when it looked as if my dad might not come visit, I was hurt. Immensely. It was just important to me that some part of my family make it here so see my boy and the idea of it not happening just left a big emotional hole in me. So, having my dad and sister! come visit me is so unbelievably cool! I would love it to be longer than a week, but I’m not going to complain!! We’ll just have to make the most of the time we do have together.

In a nutshell, even though I have moved away from my family, they are still very important to me and I still need them. I’m just waiting until we have “beam me up, Scotty”-technology to make the trip ‘home’ a quick and painless one.

My dad’s coming to visit!

I Skyped with my dad (and sister) a couple of days ago and my dad told me that he is definitely coming to visit at the beginning of September. He isn’t sure if anyone else will be coming, but I’m totally thrilled that at least he will be coming! Now, let’s just hope Paxlet decides to make his appearance on time so that I’m not spending time in the hospital when my dad is here!

Less than 3 months to EDD. OMG!