Back to work

The kids and I survived our 8 weeks of summer holiday. We even thrived during some of that time. But it sure was challenging some days. I then had one more week all to myself, with the kids back at daycare and Mr Siili at work. It was bliss. I was lazy, cleaned a tiny bit, got my hair done, ate lunch downtown, slowly.

I do wish some of the days had a been a bit easier during the summer. Paxlet will soon be 5 years old. He is in a phase of not listening to us. We say something nicely/calmly several times and  he doesn’t acknowledge us in any way. When we raise our voice or yell, he say “yeah yeah” or starts crying. I know he’s a little boy with big emotions, but this is draining! And little Miss Tadbit (2yr 4 mo), she copies EVERYTHING her big brother does. ‘Peat and Repeat’ comes to mind. A a much better description of them than ‘monkey see, monkey do’, although that is valid too. She’s full of personality. And even the annoying things she does at times are still pretty cute, just because she is still young. I love my kids an insane amount, but they are challenging for me at times.

On my first day back at work, I barely manage to remember my computer password. Then I was still deactivated in the system, which thankfully only took a few minutes to solve. I had over 300 emails to go through. And basically just took my time getting back into the swing of things.

After work, as I was on the bus home, when I saw my bus in the lane next to us! I had hopped on the wrong bus! Thankfully it was easy enough to hop off at the next stop, take a 2nd bus, which brought me back around to my intended bus line home.

Then, at the library, a man working there did a double take at me and wondered/asked if I was the same woman who was with her 2 kids during the summer who spoke to said kids in English. (My hair color had changed since I was last there and I wasn’t with kids at this moment.) When I said it was me, he asked why I was speaking to them in English. When I replied that I am American, a little light bulb went off in his eyes. I’ve been asked this question before and I find it interesting. Either I look very Finnish (which I’ve been told I don’t do a bad job of it) and/or my Finnish language skills are so good that they think I’m a Finn (maybe, possibly, depending on what I’m talking about). However, I don’t think this specific guy heard me speak Finnish. I’m not sure what to think about this. Mostly I’m just amused.

So, the kids are back in daycare. I’m back at work. And life is back to normal again.

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I’m here.

Happy Midsummer! It’s been a long while since I’ve written anything, but after reading Mel’s current post today, I felt prompted to at least come and say hi.

I think I’ve been depressed lately. And by lately, I mean somewhere around 9 or so months. Maybe more. Maybe it was just winter. In any case, I felt no desire to do anything creative, couldn’t be bothered to do any of the things I knew I needed to do (only Paxlet has a valid passport still) and felt like I was shit at everything. Talk about being down on your own self. It wasn’t like this every single day, but most days (even now still to some extent) I was able to get by without thinking about anything and it would be an okay day. And then there were days it would just all crash in on me.

I know some of my down-ness is due to a lack of meeting up with friends (co-workers just don’t cut it). I am a social person and need some time now and then with girl friends. To chat, shoot the breeze and just be girls. That doesn’t happen very often anymore. I don’t know how or where to find new or more friends. It seems like all attempts I have made just leave me with less friends.

Right at this moment, the kids and I are nearing the end of week 2 of an 8 week holiday/break. Mr Siili will have 4 weeks off this summer: this week and next, and then 2 more in a couple of weeks. I wanted to take advantage of this last chance to be home for the entire summer with the kids, but at the same time I have felt/feel that I am a bit crazy for doing this. Paxlet loves to whinge and not listen and Tadbit monkeys EVERYTHING her older brother does. I’m trying to feel gratitude and enjoyment with my kids and not just wait for bedtime each evening and feel like I am only surviving. I want to thrive with my kids. Getting to bed earlier each night would probably help some with this feeling. But evenings/nights are my time.

I have been taking lots of photos and posting them to Instagram. It makes me happy. It is my place to post all of the mundane, silly and random pictures that I think everyone on FB or elsewhere in my life would get sick of or just not give a rat’s bum about. I only follow those I want, because I want to. Not because they are my friend/family/following me. If you want to check me out, I’m hopea.lohikaarme (silver dragon).

I’m not sure if I’m back to writing here regularly or not yet, but I’m not gone. At least not permanently.

#MicroblogMonday – 1 + 8

This is Paxlet’s last week of daycare before his summer holiday starts.

Summer holiday is 8 weeks long (again) this year.

After I have survived 8 weeks home with the kids, Tadbit starts daycare and I head back to work.

Talk about mixed emotions.

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.

#MicroblogMonday – I survived 8 weeks of summer with both kids at home

 

I’m a bit torn over my feelings on this post title and the content to come. Yes, I know I wanted not one kid, but two and I have been extremely lucky to have them. However, with Paxlet quickly coming up on 3 years of age, he is a handful! He sometimes fights anything and everything I do or say and then screams or cries when something is done that he doesn’t approve of. Add on top of that the refusal to take a nap, even if it is needed, or even rest for a short bit, unless we are in the car then falling asleep is a given. Having him home these last 8 weeks from daycare has been totally exhausting! So, in that sense, I survived those times when he was screaming, crying and fighting me.

I realize that people who have twins, or more, deal with more than one kid all day from the get go. I also realize that not all moms can or want to have their older kids in daycare while they are at home. For me, I have found it a godsend while I was getting my feet under me after having Tadbit. It helps that Paxlet likes his daycare lady and the kids. Plus they are able to play his extra energy out much better than I am.

During the times he was happy, not screaming and we were working on things in the same direction, summer was great! We did quite many things at home and away from home. I enjoyed the good times. Paxlet is truly a smart, talkative (my ears are hanging on by threads) and sweet little boy that is growing up so fast.

In “honor” of Paxlet heading back to daycare today, Tadbit and I had a restful day at home and I took a nap with her in the morning. Aaahh! Sleep!

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.

True love is…

…collecting and giving all the berries you pick to your child instead of eating them yourself.

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To be fair, he picked some of those also and I did eat a couple while picking.

Cutting cucumbers and ice eggs

I feel like my last post made it seem as if we are on the go go go and always doing something fun or exciting, which is definitely not the case. We have quite a bit of down time where we are just at home playing with Legos and other toys or outside in the yard and nearby areas. With 8 weeks of no daycare for Paxlet, we’ve got to find something to do to keep him entrained and not destroying the house.
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My little big boy, Paxlet, is 2 years 10 months. My little girl will be 3 months this weekend. Today was the first full day alone with the two of them. We had our challenges and a few unpleasant scenes, but overall it went decently well. I am however exhausted. Not that that is new.

In the nearby park this morning we made sand cookies and cucumbers.

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After lunch, we prepped a little something for tomorrow’s hot day: dinosaur and spider ice eggs. I saw this idea somewhere on the interwebs and just knew I wanted to do this once we got some warm and sunny days.

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Keeping Paxlet entertained

Paxlet is on holiday (from daycare). A fact that he tells anyone who will listen to him. He is also on strike from naps most days. He’d tell you he did sleep at nap time though. When I In fact he’s only had two naps in almost two weeks. It’s rough, because he is tired, but just won’t let himself mellow out long enough to doze off. Instead, I’ve been trying to find activities, quiet and action packed, to keep him entertained and occupied.

So far, we’ve played with homemade play dough, played outside in the yard and nearby surrounding areas, gone to a mom and child group a couple of times, taken a boat trip to an island for a windy and cold day, watched the construction work across the street, went to an amusement park, rode the bus just for fun, went to a jungle gym,  gone to some new parks, went to a birthday party, explored a (junk) store that he’s never been to, read books, visited the cousins, watched a tiny bit of youtube videos and played with rain water and from the hose.

We still have more parks to explore, arts and crafts to do, sidewalk chalk to draw with, friends and cousins to visit (again), animals to check out at a local-ish farm, more youtube to watch, and whatever else we can come up with to keep busy. Some of the things that we’ve already done will be done again.

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