31 weeks + 1 day, #2

This is it! I’m down to single digit weeks for the count down. Eeps!

I have been feeling very full of baby lately. It is somewhat painful and exhausting.

I was about to write that I have not once felt hiccups this pregnancy! And then Thursday evening I felt some! They were delicate little things, but definitely hiccups.

Tuesday morning, my work offered everyone breakfast as a thank you for the hard work we did during year end closing. While this isn’t really pregnancy related, this pregnant lady was very thankful for breakfast and not having to pay for it or prepare it herself.
I’ve been feeling almost constantly hungry lately, but nothing specific pops out that I must have.

One of my teeth had been hurting me for the last week or so. Especially when I drank or ate something cold and ate anything sweet. Apples hurt just as much as sweets. So I called the dentist on Monday and had an appointment by Tuesday afternoon. I had a tiny cavity and badly eroded gums on that specific tooth. My tooth is still a bit tender, but I am happily eating what I want again without pain!

On Wednesday, I used my last official holiday day to take the day off and go to visit a friend, I. Paxlet, my friend R, her younger daughter and I took a train to our friends house and hung out for a few hours. We were assisted by a very helpful bus driver to get to our destination. Enjoyed yummy homemade pea soup. And then I’s son came home from school crying that his arm hurt, badly. He cried if you looked at it and screeched when his mom touched his hand. I couldn’t stop myself crying along with the son. Stupid pregnancy hormones. R and myself told I to take her son to the doctor’s now! We’d watcher her sleeping daughter and figure out our getting home situation. In the end, I’s husband made it home quickly and took their son in for an x-ray, R and myself made it to our bus and train home and there wasn’t a single break, fracture or crack in I’s son’s arm. It was a fun, exciting and exhausting day. In fact, I think I am still recovering from it today.

I think I pulled a muscle in my back on Thursday. Or I at least tweaked it a bit and was uncomfortable all evening. Thankfully a Panadol (Acetaminophen) helped.

Today I didn’t wear my support belt while at work, thinking that I’d be sitting enough that it wouldn’t make a difference. I did however forget to put it on when I went across the road to get lunch. And in the end, I’ve been very very sore this afternoon and evening. So much so, that I told Mr Siili that I just couldn’t handle walking around the store to food shop, with or without Paxlet. So we ate what we could find in the freezer (fish fillet & french fries, canned corn and fresh pear). Shopping can be done tomorrow.

My rings are going to need to come off soon I think.

I’ve been trying to decide which animal I most closely resemble or represent lately: penguin, cow, beached whale, something else? LOL

I miss being able to put socks and shoes on easily. Drying off after a shower is also more complicated.

I’ve been having night sweats most nights now. It sucks being insanely hot one second and then cold in the next.

I realized that I have a food aversion: cottage cheese! If I have to, I can mix it in with food and eat it…but it almost makes me gag when I put it on Paxlet’s plate, smell it or even just look at it.

I’ve had a couple of people ask me recently if we know which gender the baby is and are we telling. I have replied with “it is supposed to be a girl, but it can still change before it’s born”. I mean, they can’t be 100% sure which gender it is, unless you actually test for it. So, Tadbit could still be a boy…but most likely not.

We have a car seat! Well, in a month when my friend no longer needs the car seat anymore, we’ll get it. She bought it new 3 years ago and it has never been in an accident. It also looks very well kept and clean. It also has a base so that we just need to click it in and out of the car. Yay! This friend also has a stroller that this car seat can clip into/onto. I am trying to decide if I want to buy that also, and then sell our stroller.

I have my next neuvola appointment on Monday. I will talk to the midwife about my aches and pains. I wonder how much weight I’ve gained in the last 3 weeks.

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Arkikuvahaaste – Everyday photo challenge 5/5

To see what this is about, read this post.

I skipped a day again…but I was so exhausted that as soon as Paxlet went to bed, I followed. After almost 9,5 hours of sleep, I’m feeling much better today. Also, I went to my work doctor yesterday and got new allergy meds and more asthma meds. These new allergy pills don’t seem to make me sleepy, unplugged my nose and stopped it from being as runny and my eyes don’t itch as much. Also, the new nose spray doesn’t feel like I am snorting acid. Pluses all around. As Mr Siili said, I’m feeling (almost) normal. Huh, yeah, I guess you could say I am feeling mostly normal.

Some bridges on my way to the work doctor’s office.
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On my way home from work yesterday, I was sitting in the bus reading when two girls got on and sat next to and across for me. The one next to me said “moikka” (hi/hello) and I replied. I could immediately tell they were churchy people. My first thought was to ignore them as much as I could (very Finnish of me) and “get away as soon as possible” (at the very end of the bus line). But then, I re-thought to myself “why am I being so anti-social. They are people too and there is nothing wrong with having a conversation with someone”. The one next to me asked a question, in Finnish, about a hand-shaped reflector on my backpack. I explained where I got it and what it meant, etc. She was a bit confused and didn’t quite understand everything I said, as she definitely wasn’t Finnish herself. It turns out they are two Americans here on their mission from the LDS (Mormons) church. We ended up chatting the rest of the bus ride. They did try to get me to go to some genealogy event, which I didn’t commit to, but it might be interesting. I did tell them that I am not interested in the church/religious aspect of things, but if they would like, I could give them my number if they wanted to hang out with another American while they are still here. Mr Siili thinks it was a mistake, but I think you can never have enough friends/acquaintances.

Some of the trees are being cut down near/at my bus stop. Makes for an interesting watch while waiting for the bus.
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This morning, Paxlet proudly put on his rubber boots all by himself. And insisted on wearing them to daycare even if it wasn’t raining outside. I sure hope it does rain in the next couple of days, like promised, for his sake and my allergies’ sake.
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Paxlet scored majorly today with a package from a friend in the US. She is a former teacher and sent us all of her stickers. 100_2388

Friendship thoughts continued

There were a few thoughts and events that brought about that last post. But mostly I have been a bit sad (ok, sometimes a lot sad) about not seeing my friends much. Poor Mr Siili gets the brunt end of my sadness, venting and tears.

For a while now, I have been pondering how I don’t see my friends very often, especially now that I am back at work, even if only part time. I did think that finally when my guy arrived that I’d maybe see my friends a bit more because then we’d all have kids. That just doesn’t happen.

Then last month when Paxlet had a neuvola appointment, I happened to see two people I know with kids roughly Paxlet’s age. The first lady I saw is a former co-worker (fcw) and her boy is 5 days older than Paxlet. We chatted a bit at work before we both left for maternity leave, emailed a few times after our boys were born and even met up a few times. Then during the summer fcw went to see her family in another country. I told her to call me when she got back, as it would be great to see her and her son again. Last month was the first I heard or saw of her since. (She’s also halfway through her 2nd pregnancy. Can you say twinge of jealousy here?) After fcw went into her appointment, in walks a friend of a friend (foaf) with her daughter who is 5 months younger than Paxlet. Foaf and I were never really close, but we did see each other at our mutual friend’s events and hang out a time or two when we found out we both had a baby. About the same time fcw went away on her trip, foaf left for the eastern part of the country to visit family. Again I said let me know when you get back, it’d be great to see you and your daughter. Guess what? Yup, you’re correct, that was the first I had seen or heard of her since.

Then there’s a friend who I also went to school (college) with here in Finland. She is super fertile (pregnant the first time on her wedding night and the 2nd “only” took 4 months to fall pregnant with) and has had a hard time understanding me and what I was going through and have gone through with infertility. After some heartache and upset-ted-ness on both sides, I thought we had worked things out well enough. However, she hasn’t been talking to me for some time now and I don’t know exactly why, but I do have an idea… Some time ago, (9 months ago?) I told her of a friend who was finally pregnant after trying as long as Mr Siili and I with the help of IVF. I said to her that this friend’s pregnancy was the first time I felt myself truly and completely happy for someone else being pregnant. Yeah, I see how that sounds now… But I think if you’ve suffered with IF at any length, you’ll understand what I meant also.
(Just in case: I really meant that upon hearing of her pregnancy I didn’t feel any pang of jealousy, see the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head or wonder why not me, because I finally had my own baby and she is one of the very few people I know IRL that has struggled as long(er) and hard as me.)

On the flip side, through one of the mom & baby groups I attended, I was set up (with my knowledge and approval) with a Finnish (first time) mom who has become a friend. Her boy is a few months older than Paxlet. During my maternity leave, we hung out semi-regularly. But since heading back to work, there just hasn’t been suitable times for us to get together. I need to rectify that.

One more flip side bit. Of all the mom & baby groups I went to, only one of them was English speaking*. The moms were nice enough and quite international, but their kids were older and wild/unruly/loud. Plus, one of them smacked Paxlet on the face and my momma-bear-ness just won’t forget it. However, there was one Australian lady who has a boy a month or two older than Paxlet. We hit it off quite well and have met up outside the group. In fact, she and her husband (plus kids) have moved into our neighborhood just recently! I hope to see more of her in the future.

If you’re keeping track, that’s -1 on the friend-maintaining scale. I know I shouldn’t count the number of friends I have, but rather the quality of the ones I do have, but when I don’t see much of the ones I do have, it’s sometimes difficult to do.

*I know I could have gotten away with speaking English at other groups, but there wasn’t many foreigners (who didn’t speak English) at those groups and I purposely wanted to work on/keep up with my Finnish language skills.

Making and maintaining friendships

Most of my friends who live near me are at a different stage with their kids than I am with Paxlet. As such, they are busy with their own lives and kids. I understand that, really I do, but I still miss seeing my friends sometimes. Especially more than the 1-2 times a year when I organize a get-together (and everyone says how they will organize the next one). Ok, some friends I do see a bit more often, but really, I don’t see my friends nearly as often as I would need. And it’s not for a lack of trying.

While I was on maternity leave, I knew I would have some “down time”. I decided that I would use this time to go out, and find mom & baby groups. My goal was to meet new women in the hopes that I might hit it off with some of them and make new friends who were/are in the same boat as me: first time mom. I met part of my goal. I went to many groups. I was terrified of putting myself out there, being a foreigner and having to speak Finnish, but I did it.  Yay me!

There are so many different organizations, groups, events and activities for moms & babies in my town. There was at least one group, sometimes more, each day of the work week that I could go to. It basically boiled down to what did I want to do, when and where. For a while I did go to different groups 3-5 times a week. Then I found the groups I liked the most and felt most comfortable in and only went to those, as I felt the need. (Some every week, others randomly when time and baby permitted.)

At these groups, I met some nice ladies (and their kid(s)). We chatted during the group times and and had a decent time, at least from my view point. I would even chat with them on the bus if we happened to meet up. What never happened though (mostly), is making new friends who I still chat with and hang out with now that I am back at work. Sure, if I see these ladies out and about somewhere, we will say hi and maybe chat for a sec (if time permits), but nothing more than that. I’m quite bummed about it.

If anything, I feel as if I have less friends after my maternity leave than I did before. While I know this isn’t really true, it still feels that way at times. What is true is that I don’t get enough time with the girl friends I do have. I’m not sure how to fix this problem or if it is even fixable.
How has your friendships changed before and after having your kid(s)? Do you still see your friends (regularly)? Share your friendship secrets/solutions.

September ICLW

Once again, it’s been ages since I’ve participated in International Comment Leaving Week aka ICLW.  Life is feeling a bit “normal” and I thought I’d be able to properly participate again. While somethings have changed a lot, most things are as they always are.

I’ve been back at work for 3 weeks now. Work is, well, work. Not too much has changed and I basically remember how to do my job. It’s sort of funny: I remember most of the keyboard short cuts I use for SAP without even thinking about it, but I can’t figure out how to use the printer/copy/fax machine.

My little boy, Paxlet, is now one year old (almost 13months). He’s a walking, talking (mostly chattering in nonsensical sounds) and loud vehicle loving boy. Dump trucks, motorcycles, tree-chopper-down things and diggers seem to be his favorites. He lights up my day and I am so very lucky to have him in my life.

Mr Siili and I have been trying to spend more time together. Although, after a long day at work, for Mr Siili, and work and being with Paxlet for me, we’re both quite tired in the evenings. Most nights we both play on our respective computers or watch a tv show together and then head to bed. I’m trying to want to have sex with Mr Siili more. While the idea of sex is nice and I enjoy it when we get going, it’s the getting going that I need to work on.

I’ve only seen one of my friends, in passing on the street, since going back to work. Not that I saw them too much during the summer, but I’m missing them. I hope to have a play-date/get-together very soon.

Fall is definitely making its presence known. Mornings are chilly, damp and several times times so far it’s been foggy (I love that!). The breezes and wind are no longer warm with summer. Hats are definitely needed! I’ll be bringing out the scarves and light weight mittens soon. This has been a nice fall so far. Not much rain, yet, and the trees are slowly turning their beautiful fiery colors. Being that I’m in Finland and listening to all the Finns around me, a small bit of me feels compelled to be doom and gloom and say: summer’s gone and winter’s almost here. But the non-Finnish part of me wants to acknowledge that we still have the beauty of autumn before the snow starts. Which reminds me, I need to remember to change my winter tires in time this year!

That’s mostly what is going on in my life right now. I hope you all enjoy this month’s ICLW!

Happiest news for a friend

One of my friends, who started TTC around the same time as Mr Siili and I, is 10 weeks pregnant after her first IVF!! I can honestly say I am so very happy for her with my entire heart. There is no IF knee-jerk negative gut reaction this time. I cried tears of utter happiness when I read her news.

This friend came to me last year, knowing I was pregnant and that we had needed help to get there. She told me that they too had been trying for many years and it wasn’t working. She wanted to know how we got the ball rolling to see if we qualified for the public IF clinic and what treatments we did.

My friend qualified for the public clinic, but because of her age (same as me), they were going to skip trying IUIs and start her right off with IVF. Except there was a 6 month wait for this. Fast Slow forward a bit and her treatment was in January.

I had lunch with her about a week before she was to test. I told her that I am here for her, but I won’t be asking any questions, I’ll wait for her to talk if and when she’s ready. So, I’ve been waiting to hear from my friend. Alternately, I’ve been worrying that it didn’t work and she hasn’t wanted to talk and also thinking that it did work and she was waiting a bit before saying anything. I am so thrilled it is the latter.

The funny thing is, I was JUST thinking of her yesterday. I was thinking to myself that I hope and can’t wait to go baby stuff shopping with her and show her where all the children’s second hand stores are. This is so exciting!

Play date – update

Sometimes I hate technology or maybe it is myself who is to blame. I spent a lot of time typing up this post and now it is nowhere to be found! Ugh!

 

I spent most of this week cleaning and organizing our house and thinking of what snacks/treats I wanted to serve for today’s play date. It was pretty much all for nothing. Out of the 10 moms (plus their kids) that I invited, only one showed up with her two daughters. Yes, I know I should be grateful for the one, but part of me is having a hard time with it right now. I never expected everyone to show up and some of the ones that didn’t come had very legitimate reasons (out of the country, sick, other things planned), but I had hoped that at least my closest 3-4 friends would have shown.

A different friend has already sent out her email invitation for a (copy cat) play date next month. The bitter part of me thinks “I bet everyone will make it to her play date”. To which, I know I should be happy if everyone does make it because then I will be able to see all my friends. But I wanted MY play date to be successful!

 

Today, Mr Siili, Paxlet, my friend R and her two beautiful daughters (3,5 years & 3,5 months) and I played with toys and cats, drank tea, ate snacks, chatted and had a good time. It was truly great to see R as we haven’t seen each other for a while.

Today was a good day. What really mattered today was the quality of guests, not the quantity.