#MicroblogMonday – 366* days tomorrow

My baby girl turns one year old tomorrow. I don’t know where the time has gone. I know that is as old as time and as cliche as can be, but I have found that when kids are involved, it is true. Time just flies! She’s definitely not a baby anymore, but she will always be my baby.

*It’s a leap year!

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.


Tadbit’s birth story

I wrote in one of my last weekly updates that I had hoped to have a calm, peaceful and quite birth…Who was I kidding? I am so not that type of person. *big big grin*


I went to bed on Saturday night (April 4th) just like on any other night. However, at 00:50 am Sunday morning I woke to a very wet and leaky feeling between my legs. I quickly jumped out of bed and got in the bathroom where my waters continued to come out. Once I got myself and the bed a bit cleaned up, I went downstairs to tell Mr Siili that it had begun. He promptly turned off his computer and came to bed in hopes of getting a bit of shut eye before things really started. Mr Siili and I were too full of excitement, nervous energy and anticipation to easily fall asleep. Mr Siili then asked/reminded me about calling the hospital to give them a head’s up. The Ob/Gyn phone services number said to come in at 11:00 am the next morning it nothing changed. I also messaged my friend who would come watch Paxlet and the doula.

Mr Siili and I managed to get some sleep. Even Paxlet slept the entire night through without a single wake up! I did have a few contractions during the night that were painful enough to wake me, but I was able to breathe through them easily enough. When Paxlet did wake at 6:40, he came to snuggle with us for a bit. I had a couple of contractions during that time and at least one of them left me breathless and unable to move during it.

Around 7 – 7:30, Paxlet and I went downstairs and I got him breakfast. All the while having a few more painful contractions. I took to rocking my hips back and forth while leaning on the kitchen counter. I tried not to growl or moan too much and just breathe through a slack-jawed mouth. I made enough noise though for Paxlet to be able to copy me. LOL

I debated on when to “bother” my friend to come watch Paxlet. I eventually called her at 7:53, asking her to come over. (Mr Siili said I should have called her much earlier!) I then updated the doula and she said she would head to our house too. While Mr Siili took a quick shower, I tried getting last minute things ready (pick up something here, put something away there) and Mr Siili got a bit frustrated with me and told me to get ready to leave for the hospital, not play around! Upon Mr Siili and the doula’s suggestion, I thought to take a shower to see if it would help ease some of the pain. It didn’t help one bit. I got in and out of the shower quickly, as it just wasn’t relaxing.

Even though the contractions were coming more often and getting quite painful, I thought I had a bit more time. By 8:20 the contractions were intense and I was ready to head to the hospital. I told both my friend and the doula that there was a change in plans and to meet us at the hospital instead. Mr Siili got Paxlet dressed and out the door, I wasn’t far behind them. We left home at 8:47 according to the car clock. (That was roughly the same time as with Paxlet’s birth.)

During the approximate 10 minute car ride my contractions slowed down to every 5-6 minutes, but still painful when they came. When we arrived at the hospital, my friend was there waiting for us. Mr Siili and Paxlet went to park our car and my friend waited with me in front of the hospital entryway through a contraction before helping me into the hospital when I could move. I got signed in and had another contraction that wouldn’t let me move from there to the assessment area. Once I got to the assessment area, I told my friend to go find Paxlet and gave her a few last minute instructions (soup in the freezer, nap around noon-ish if you can manage and I gave her a key to our house). It was 9:03 when the midwife at the assessment area checked me in.

I was shown to a curtained off “room” and given a hospital gown to change into. In between contractions, growling, moaning and rocking, I finally managed to get into the gown. However, I think the midwife had to help me get my pants and undies off. I heard Mr Siili’s voice outside the assessment area telling a midwife he was there with/for me (men are not allowed into this area because there are potentially several women being monitored and in various stages of undress in the curtained areas). The midwife wanted me to lay on the bed so that she could see how dilated I was. For the life (or death) of me, I didn’t want to lay on my back, anywhere. I eventually made it up on the bed and the midwife announced I was 6 cm dilated. As soon as the midwife was done checking me and I wasn’t contracting, I hoped (yes, hoped) off the bed as fast as I could. Soon after that the doula showed up.

Can I have some water please?

When the midwife was stepped out of my cubicle for a second, I had the urge to pee, but there was no way I could move during a contraction, so I put the bed protection sheet/mat-thing on the floor between my legs, just in case. I am sure I peed or maybe leaked waters into the pad they gave me to wear. The midwife came back and wanted me to walk upstairs to the delivery room. I got two steps away from the bed, started to have another contraction and moved back to the bed to hold on to it. I was not leaving the bed! I was brought a wheelchair, where I tucked one leg underneath me and sat on that. It was a slightly “standing” position that felt a bit more comfortable than sitting normally. I didn’t really think about what I did, I just did it.

I was thirsty!

I vaguely remember being wheeled out into the hall, with Mr Siili joining us (midwife, doula and myself). We went in an elevator and up a floor or two. Once we left the elevator, we stopped for a sec outside of it for a second. I have no idea why. During that time though, I gave my headband to Mr Siili and asked for a hair band. The doula was nice enough to give me hers. 🙂 I had a few more contractions on the way up to the delivery room.

This is where things start getting a bit blurry and confused for me.

Once in the delivery room, I had to wait for a contraction to stop before I could get off the wheel chair. During this time, the assessment midwife called for the midwife who would help me deliver Tadbit and the assessment midwife left the room. I was in quite a bit a lot of pain during contractions, so I don’t remember the name of the new midwife and especially not her face. I couldn’t focus on anything outside of the pain inside me. The new midwife heard me speaking English to Mr Siili and the doula. She said, in English, that her English wasn’t so good, but she could try. I replied to her, in Finnish, that I understand Finnish, but that I don’t know which language I will speak in. (Basically, if I was in pain, it was English. If I wasn’t in so much pain and had a second to think clearly, I could form thoughts in Finnish.) The midwife’s English was perfectly fine.

I had another contraction standing by and leaning onto the bed. I still felt like I needed to go pee, which is where I headed as soon as the current contraction stopped. I had another contraction on the toilet! When I came back from the bathroom, the midwife wanted to monitor the baby for a second. In order to do that, she wanted me to get on the bed. No way was I getting on the bed!!! Instead it was asked that I go to the other side of the bed so she could put the monitor around me as I stood there. I eventually got there.

I needed more water!

When the contractions were happening, I tried to rock my hips back and forth, but it hurt so bad! Instead I found myself leaning more on my left leg/hip and sort of rocking in that position. And because of the way I was standing, the midwife wasn’t able to put the monitor on me. She asked if I could get on the bed on my hands and knees and she would try a different monitor (clip on the baby’s head and something on my thigh. I had this last time). I managed to get on the bed in between contractions and after a painful try or two she got it on (I think). I immediately hopped off the bed again, to stand on the monitoring wire for a sec.

The bed was quite low and I was really having to lean over onto it. The midwife said it could be raised up and pillows put under me so I can lean on it more comfortably. The doula asked if that is what I wanted and I couldn’t answer her. I think I shrugged, said “yes, no, I don’t know”. It was raised anyway. The doula reminded me a few times to loosen my jaw and try to growl/moan at a lower sound (more in the cow moo’ing range instead of a scream/yell), as that would help lessen the tension in my body. I tried to do what she said, but sometimes you can’t quite control what is happening.

I was insanely thirsty! I needed and wanted water! And more water!

Oh, my goodness, I need to push!!! (But I didn’t want to!) The midwife said she couldn’t allow me to push until she checked my cervix to make sure I was fully dilated and that there was no “lip” left. But I couldn’t get on the bed! And I was not going to be on my back. In the end, I did crawl up on the bed to lay there long enough for her to check me: fully dilated and ready to push! (Ouch!) I turned over onto all fours as quick as I could. The doula raised the back of the bed up and I leaned over that. More water please! I asked what time was it? 9:40 was the reply.

When contractions came, not too often, but powerful and long, I pushed. Or at least I tried to push. (But it hurt! It was going to hurt a lot more before it wouldn’t hurt anymore.) So while I did push during the contractions, I sort of wimped out and only made a token and weak effort at pushing sometimes. The first push I lowered my bum to the bed and the midwife said I couldn’t do that as there wasn’t room for her to see or do anything. After 4-5 contractions where I pushed (How can I do this again?!) and the baby did move down, I still wasn’t getting Tadbit out. The midwife suggested I change positions. I agreed and ended up on my left side with my right leg held up towards my shoulder.

With the next contraction, I pushed! I pushed with all my might and then I screamed bloody murder. I took a breath, pushed again and screamed again. (O! M! G! the ring of fire #@!$%&¤ hurts!) Another deep breath, push and scream the hospital down. But, the head came out. I was told to turn onto my back. With the next contraction I pushed the rest of my baby out at 10:14 am. It’s a girl!! And then I draped my right hand over my eyes and cried “That hurt! Oh my god, that hurt!”


I got an injection to help deliver the placenta. Mr Siili didn’t want to cut the cord. And our Baby girl was laid on me for some skin to skin time. The doula took some pictures for us. 🙂 We were left alone, with doula for a bit until she went home shortly after, to bond and snuggle with Tadbit. Eventually the midwife came back in weighed (3885 g / 8,5 lbs) and measured (50 cm / 19,7 in) Tadbit, helped Mr Siili get her dressed and I took a shower. Some food was brought for me, Mr Siili didn’t want anything.


From the time my waters broke until I delivered Tadbit, it took 9 hours and 24 minutes (00:50 – 10:14).
Active labor was 2 hours and 38 minutes:
early/latent labor was 2 hours 5 minutes,
pushing was 24 minutes, and
delivery of the placenta was 9 minutes

I only had a first degree tear needing two stitches. I also only lost 300 g (just over a cup) of blood (up to 500 g is normal).


Eleven days on and all is well. Stitches are healing, swelling is gone and I’m losing weight. I hate bleeding and needing to wear pads (they cause discomfort in my lady bits area from lack of air and the blood on the skin), but there is nothing special to report.

Tadbit is eating like a champ. I think all signs of jaundice are gone. She sleeps well and even in 3-4 hours stretches at night! We had her first neuvola appointment yesterday. She is up to 4050 g / 8,9 lbs.

#MicroblogMonday – Meeting my doula

I met with the doula today. I feel as if we are so much alike! There are so many things about our lives and ways of parenting that it made talking to her easy. She’s lived in the US for quite many years, even though she is Finnish. She even lived on the west coast not too far from my hometown.

We discussed Paxlet’s birth, my hopes for this time around, her own births and many more topics that had nothing to do with my impending labor and delivery. (Random topics like pets, parents, in-laws, American coffee vs Finnish coffee, baby led weaning, bilingual kids, diapers, etc.) We also discussed why I wanted a doula: to have someone there with me, in case Mr Siili can’t make it if we can’t get someone to watch Paxlet. And it would also be nice to have someone who is there for me and to advocate for my wishes if the case comes up that something needs to be dealt with.

All in all, I really don’t have any worries about this upcoming birth. Even though Paxlet’s birth was an entirely new situation and a bit scary, it was a quick labor and delivery. Nothing horrible happened, unless you want to count the few stitches I needed from tearing. In my opinion, I have no trauma that needs to be worked through. However, there are a few things I would like to try differently this time around. I hope that because I do know what is going to happen that I can be a bit more relaxed (in body and mind) and more focused, thus making the whole experience less painful. Hopefully. I would also like to try and deliver while on my knees leaning over the back of the bed and not flat on my back. The only major “problem” at the moment is not knowing when Tadbit will arrive. In her own due time, I know.

I thought for sure it was too late to get a doula, but I have one now! We’ll meet again next week to discuss natural ways of pain relief, if Tadbit doesn’t decide to come before then, which I don’t think she will.

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s first post about MBM at Stirrup Queens.

Four years in the making

Paxlet has finally arrived!!!!!!!!

He arrived into this world with a very healthy pair of lungs at 10:31 this morning (Finnish time). (Was it really just over 10 hours ago!?) He weighed 3610g (7 lbs 16 oz) and 50 cm (19 ¾ in) long.

We’re all doing will, if a bit tired. Paxlet is eating like a champ and is so darn cute. I can’t stop looking at him and crying with happy hormonal tears.

I can’t believe he’s all mine (and Mr Siili’s of course)!!