Childhood depression

I had a great evening tonight. I met up with my best friend and we went swimming. It has been ages since I have swam and it felt great! I got in one kilometer. After our swim, we went to sauna (in the swimming hall) and then had a tea and snack in the cafe. It filled my being to spend some much needed time with my friend. We even went to the store afterward. She was looking for some on sale clothing items and I needed food. What we ended up getting was about 8 kilos (17,5 lbs) of candy. We are two peas in a pod* candy rats a like and just couldn’t pass candy for 1,95€/kilo. I did managed to control myself and only took 2,5 kilos as my bounty. I’ll try to ration it out and give some away. Who am I kidding?! I’ll most likely eat it all.

On a serious note, my friend told me this evening her daughter has been diagnosed with depression. The daughter is only 7 years old. My heart hurts for the girl and my friend. I know it’s not a death sentence, necessarily, but I’ve seen and heard about her struggles so far and it’s not going to be easy as she gets older. This girl knew who to pick as her mom (and dad) when she came to this world. My friend is a great mother and does anything she can to help her girls.

My friend has been looking for some books to help explain depression to her daughter. She says it is quite difficult to find ones that fit their situation. She explained one book that she has found had a creature that was incredibly “sad” and that after some time, someone gave them a gift or threw them a surprise party and they are happy again. My friend’s daughter is not “sad”, she is angry-depressed. It is a dark black depression. This girl cannot be left alone with her sister, for fear of physical violence that might be done. It has been threatened and even acted on to a degree. Already at this age, and for a few years already, this girl doubts with all her being that she is loved and worth the love she is shown. It’s truly heartbreaking.

This is where I need your help, interweb peeps. Do you know of any books or websites that might be of help for my friend and her daughter? I don’t mean self-help type books that my friend can use to make her daughter better, but rather books that can be used to help the entire family understand what depression is, how it affects the girl and those around her. Especially those that are geared towards young kids.

*That’s just too healthy of a description.

Chewie Gooey Brownie Cake update and lots of pictures

So, it took me a few days to get the rest of these pictures up. Friday was spent all day with the kids and once the kids were in bed, I baked a Muzzy’s Cheesecake and cleaned. Then all of Saturday was spent cleaning more and having a party.

Here are the finished cakes! Chewie Gooey Brownie Cake on the left and Muzzy’s Cheesecake on the right.
I’m going to get the cheesecake recipe typed up as soon as I can and posted here. I’ve promised it to a couple of friends.
And both cakes cut.

When I was young, my dad made me this redwood desk. I used it a lot, the scratches on the surface prove that. And now my dad has mailed it to me for my birthday!!! I was totally shocked when I opened the package they sent and saw this. I love my dad.
And this is all the stuff that was inside of it. Plus a Chutes and Ladders game that isn’t shown. We have enough balloons to last us a lifetime.

My lovely friends gave me these beautiful flowers.

The end of summer, for us and well, mostly all of Finland, wouldn’t be complete without a “bit” of rain. Paxlet thoroughly enjoyed playing in the downpour.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work since the end of February 2015. That’s 1 year and 5 months away from work. Not long enough! I feel like my grumblings about having/getting to go back to work sound ungrateful. Especially when I am constantly aware of how short the time is in the US. I also know some people don’t have a job to go back to. I am so incredibly thankful for the time I have had to be home with my kids.

Gone too soon

I got a FB message this morning from my ex that a mutual friend of ours from high school committed suicide yesterday. I haven’t spoken to this guy in years, but my heart is still saddened. He was a kind soul and truly wanted to change our world. Depression got the better of him.

My mom once told me*, everyone has a purpose in this life. We may not know what it is, but it’s still there. (Maybe one person’s purpose is to learn to get along better with their mom. Another person’s  would be to change the world.) And for those who decide to leave us before their “natural” time, maybe they have completed their purpose of what they are here to do. We won’t ever know, but maybe that is why they had to leave too early.

I find my mom’s words/concept soothing. It doesn’t take away the grief, but it does help me with the loss. In this case though, I’m struggling with his passing. Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m so sad. It isn’t like I’ve seen or talked to him in years (except for a line or two of text on FB). But, he is a past/former/previous life (when I lived in the US) friend. And when it all comes down to the bare minimal, it is just that: The loss, of a friend, too soon.


*I hope I’m doing her explanation/belief justice.

#MicroblogMonday – Hair we go!

I have an appointment on Thursday to get my hair done. It’s now been about 10 months since I’ve done a thing with it. The hair appointment is booked and baby sitter reserved! The appointment is with my favorite stylist, he was even on Finland’s version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Sillä Silmällä.

I think I’m going green/blue, with more green…

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.

#MicroblogMonday – Fox


A friend has this as her last name (minus “der”). I never knew or thought about it. Talk about a light bulb moment!
I wonder how many other names I’ve never known or thought about?

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.


This year I hosted my first ever Thanksgiving. Yes, hosted. my friends and I already celebrated it this evening, one day early. It only took me 16 years to have a turkey-day party and I have no idea why. The was a huge success. Everything was just so right! From finally setting a date, everyone (but one gal) being able to make it, the food prep the day before with my great friend R, cleaning the house today and eating all the yummy foods today.

We had just the right amount of food with only minimal leftovers. There is enough for me for lunch tomorrow and then some turkey to be frozen for turkey-noodle soup in the future. I can’t believe how easy stuffing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole and candied yams are to make! My good friend R came over yesterday and it only took us 3-4 hours to make all of those, plus a pesto torte. This 3-4 hours included a cheesecake breakfast break to plan our day and a lunch break. Tadbit slept most of the time, which helped a lot too! Having R over was so much fun and it was the perfect thing to get me already in the holiday mood. Today I cleaned and tidied the house (downstairs) a bit and popped the turkey in the oven. I even made gravy with the turkey juices and bits. Oh my goodness, it too was easy and tasted delish!

To continue the “just right”-feeling, everyone arrived on time. That’s a pretty big feat if you know some of the gals in our group. It was great to have us all together again. We laughed, cried and laughed some more. I can’t believe I’ve known these girls almost my entire Finland-life. We have been through so much and I know we will go through so much more. These girls are my friends that are family. For their friendship and more I am ever thankful.

#MicroblogMonday – Hosting Thanksgiving

I have lived in Finland for 16 years and only ever once been to a Thanksgiving celebration here. And that was during the second year I lived here. This year, I have finally gotten my act together and I am hosting a Turkey-day celebration in my home!

Mr Siili isn’t too keen on having a 3-4 kilo (6,6-8,8 pound) bird in the house, but I don’t have 20 friends that I would want to invite nor do we have the room for that many. So it looks like I’ll either buy some turkey breasts/legs or frantically freeze what doesn’t get eaten of the whole bird.

Our menu will looks something like the following, as it’s what my family does for Thanksgiving.

oyster balls (stuffing)
corn bread stuffing
pesto torte
candied yams/sweet potatoes
green bean casserole
cranberry sauce
pumpkin pie
crudités tray (gherkin sweet pickles, black olives, green olives, stuffed celery, pickled okra)
potato rolls

What’s your favorite dish for Turkey-day? What makes the meal for you?

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.