My IVF clinic in the news

Yesterday, in my local newspaper, was an article about a woman in her 30’s who was diagnosed with cancer, had her chemo treatments and then went on to do IVF and get pregnant. Before she started chemotherapy treatments, to try and preserve her fertility, the clinic took some of her ovarian tissue and froze it. After her treatments were done, the clinic put the tissue back in her. Four months later, she had her first period and then the clinic did a round of IVF. The fresh cycle didn’t work but she did get pregnant with a frozen embryo transfer (FET). Pretty amazing don’t you think?

The article states that this has been done 4 times in Finland, but that this is the first time a baby will be born due to this procedure. In addition, there are over 40 other babies in the world where this is how they got their start.

This is amazing news and I’m just in awe over it!

Good bye little frozen embryo

Three years ago at the end of November/beginning of December we were finishing up our third and final fresh round of IVF through the public health system. From this round, we ended up with 3 embryos. Two of these were transferred into my uterus (one of these became Paxlet) and one was frozen. Our clinic will keep embryos frozen fro 3 years, without any charge. Knowing this, I was ready to call them at the beginning of August this year to do our very last FET with our final lonely little embryo. This never happened, as I magically fell pregnant in the cycle just before August.

While we were in the US, we received a letter asking what we wanted to do with our last embryo:
1. Store it for another 3 years for 321€.
2. Use it now.
3. Donate it to “science” for stem cell research.
4. Have it destroyed.

For me it was a no-brainer decision: donate it for stem cell research. We won’t be using it. We are done growing our family. Even if shit hits the fan with this pregnancy, I think know we are done. Mr Siili and I filled in the consent papers and I put the envelope in the mail today. There is no going back now.

Good bye little embryo! I am not sad about this good bye. You gave me hope during the last 3 years. You were the “what-if” if we ever decided to try one last time. In the end, we have been fortunate enough to not need you. I am ready to let you go and do what you can in hopes of helping others.

And life goes on

Ugh, has it really been that long since I last posted?! Twenty-three days, beginning of June, according to my last published post. I knew it was a while, but I didn’t realize that long. I feel like I’ve got so much to say about not much stuff. Does that even make sense? I’ve always got thoughts of something I should/could/want to write about, but just can’t make myself get around to it. In any case, here are my thoughts in bulletin points because I can’t be bothered to write full posts about each item.

– June 16th marked 4 years of being a dual citizenship holder. Next month will be 15 years that I’ve lived in Finland. That’s basically my entire adult life and soon it will be half my life. Time just…flies.

– Paxlet is now saying 3- and 4-word sentences, sometimes even 5-word sentences. He also talks almost non-stop. Just like his momma. *big grin* This afternoon for example, as I was trying to get him down for a nap (which was unsuccessful, by the way) he was snuggling with me and then sat up a little, rubbed his hands on my shirt and said: Äiti hieno green shirt. (äiti=mom, hieno=nice/wonderful/great). This was also my first compliment from my boy!

– Paxlet. He just blows my mind. I am so lucky to have him and get to watch him learn and grow everyday. He’s picking up numbers (not that he gets the correct all the time, but he says 1, 2, 3 or third when talking about things) and he can quite often identify orange correctly and sometimes a few others colors as well. I bought him a building set a few days ago, because I thought it had a screwdriver in it, which is is in love with right now, but it only has pliers and a wrench (with a flat screwdriver bit on the edge). He loves the pliers and has even built his own “car”. He comes up with new words and actions everyday. He even makes jokes! How I love this little boy.


That’s Paxlet’s “car” he made on the right. It originally was a pig.

– I finally had my doctor appointment, but not much to be said about it. As this was through the public doctor, she only did a quick internal/external exam (no signs of endo, just like always/before surgery, but it doesn’t mean anything for me). As I have one frozen embryo at the public fertility clinic, I should go there to have that done before doing anything else. They would also be able to tell me more of what is going on inside of me (u/s machines) and what to do next (after the FET fails). The doctor could send a referral for blood work to see if anything there has changed, but I declined for now. I honestly don’t think anything has changed in that respect. I did forget to ask about my no/low sex-drive and the possibility to get progesterone suppositories. As low prog is a problem for me. I should call and try to get a phone consult (quicker than trying to see her in person, esp during the summer).

– I’ll call the fertility clinic after the summer holidays and see about getting our last embryo transferred.

– I had meant to post last week. I was going to say that there was only 4 more days until my first 2 week holiday started, but it’s Tuesday of the next week already and this is my 2nd day of official holiday, although I haven’t worked since Thursday, as it was Juhannus/midsummer this last weekend, which means no work on Thursday or Friday. Mr Siili and I haven’t killed each other yet and we’ve been home together for 6 days. Little snips and snaps here and there, but we’re doing decently well.

– There was about 2 weeks or so during this month that Paxlet just wouldn’t go to bed easily. Sometimes it took more than an hour to get him to sleep, with tons of screaming, crying, gagging from the aforementioned and lots of unhappiness. It’s been better the last few nights. But, now he doesn’t seem to want to take naps every day. He is way too young and tired to go without a nap. So we all suffer, sometimes more than others, until bed time. He also likes to wake in the middle of the night and not go back to sleep. Or he tries to go to sleep, but then wiggles and his blanket falls off him and so he continually wakes us for a while. Sometimes an hour or more. I try to remember he is still little, but in the middle of the night I’m not always at my best.

– We’ve had some beautifully warm, hot even, days. Part of the reason I didn’t blog earlier. And then (now) we’ve got some chillier days with tons of rain, some snow (it didn’t stick!), hail and thunder storms. It’s a typical summer, minus the snow.

– I found a long lost friend via FB. Every so often, I would find the letter she sent me in 1995 (people, that is almost 20 years ago!!) and I would think about her for a bit. This time when I ran across the letter, I thought to see if she is on FB. Low and behold, she is!  We’re now catching up on each others’ lives. Sometimes, FB can be good.

– Paxlet and I are hopping on a train on Saturday to go to a Renaissance fair with a very good friend and her two young daughters. It will be Paxlet’s first train trip and both of our firsts’ to the fair. And next week we’ll head to the in-laws for a few days. Tons of activities planned here. I also hope to Skype with my sister later this week. Holiday is good.

I am sure there is more that wandered through my mind. I guess I will just have to blog more once I think of it.

Opposite of Squeeee!!

What’s the opposite of Squeeee? Anti-Squeee? Or maybe it’s Un-Squeee? In any case, the emotion that is the opposite of Squeeee is just sadness and bleh.

Friday during the day, I had a spot of very light pink/brown discharge on my undies and on the toilet paper, once. I decided I couldn’t wait until Saturday morning, so I POAS’d late late Friday night and got a BFN. I stopped using the progesterone suppositories because I figured AF would be on her way soon and I was really sick of the suppositories. It was very nice to go all day Saturday without anything leaking from me! So much so, I even thought of trying to get Mr Siili in the sack with me for a bit of wiggling. It didn’t work, but that was ok. I just had a very lazy day instead and read a book, most of it while I was in bed. I did go out in the evening with some girls from work. We played pool and then had dinner. It was an enjoyable evening. I think I had maybe 1 or two tiny, almost non-existant AF spots during the day, so I really thought AF was on her way.

By the time I woke up and stopped reading in bed on Sunday, AF still wasn’t here, I decided maybe I should still be using the suppositories. Maybe it was too early to test on Friday night. In went the suppository and out came leakage tinged pink/brown and nothing else. And now, here is is Sunday late afternoon, and still no AF. I’m not sure what to make of it all, except that I feel like I am in limbo and I am progressing into a sad state of mind.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this month after month of disappointment. Yet, I fear (know?) if I don’t continue, I’ll never get to my goal of pregnancy and an eventual baby/child. Infertility sucks! I feel alone, even if I rationally know it isn’t true.

I still have a couple more days before Wednesday, which is the day the clinic says I can test, so we’ll see, but I am NOT hopeful at all. To top it all off, my neck decided to spasm and kink yesterday just before I went out. Now it is stiff and hurts, again! I’m going to continue reading now.

7dpt with 3 day embryo

Everything seems to be a bit brighter and easier for the last few days. I’m “blaming” it on the girls brunch out on Sunday. I definitely feel better after talking to them and just hanging out. I hope we can do it a bit more often.

Today is 7dpt with a 3 day embryo. But I wonder, because it was frozen, does that mean it is now a 4 day embryo? I did think about testing this morning, but I didn’t. I just didn’t feel like putting a possible damper on this decent mood I’ve been having. And in any case, the doctor told me to wait until next week’s Wednesday to test. That’s a-whole-nother week away! I’m not sure I can wait that long, but let’s see what happens. I do suspect AF will show this weekend (unless I do happen to be pregnant), as this has been a natural cycle and my natural cycle should end this weekend.

I’ve been thinking of “a day in the life of me” via photos for a little while. And that is what I did that today. The pictures are taken with my ZTE Blade phone-camera, so many are not of the best quality, but I like the way they have turned out anyway. I hope you enjoy!

Good Morning! A promising beautiful autumn morning.
Mansi (and Rusty, not shown) is watching for birdies in the bedroom.
Rusty needing a bit of mama-love before she heads to work. (Notice I have one sock on, one sock off.)
Leaves frozen on the roof of my car this morning. First freeze of the year in my town. Brr!
This photo was an accident, but I love how it turned out anyway. Behind the wheel, and no, the car isn’t on yet.
Waiting for my chiropractor. I’ve been going to this same guy for 13 years now, I love him!
My work space. I know it’s very blurry, but it looks cool! Plus, I can’t be sharing an work secrets now, can I?
After work I checked the air pressure in Lydia’s (my car) tires. See her red spot? I love her red spot. I should blog about it how Lydia got her spot.
After purchasing a couple of new post stamps at the post office, I wandered around the crap-shop to see if there was anything new. There was a mix of Halloween and Xmas (front right). I didn’t spend a cent! So proud of myself.
Pizzer for dinner! Unfortunately, both Mr Siili and I were disappointed in the new pizzas we tried this evening. 😦
Rusty almost always greets and talks to me when I get home in the evening. Tonight was no exception, except for what he was talking about: holes in his (food) bowls. It is a serious matter and offense if there is a hole in his bowl, much less both bowls. Here is Mr Siili remeding the problem while I am trying to “set-up” a photo shoot about it (in his words). LOL
And now for a bit more Jasmine green tea and a bit of reading, then it’s off to beddy-bye. (See my pj pants and Shanghai hotel slipper? *grin*)

FET is a go!

As I was on my way to the chiro this morning, I got a call from the clinic. They called me! (That isn’t so common here, at least not for me.) The lady told me that she has good news: my embryo survived thawing. I have no idea how many cells it is or any other details, but I don’t really care at the moment.
I am now in the waiting room with a full bladder. I’ll update this after the transfer and I go pee.

The transfer went well. My 8-cell embryo didn’t lose any cells during the thaw! Woohoo! It’s a great start already. *big grin*

My bladder was sufficiently full. I’ve actually never had any problems with that, even the time I forgot to have a full bladder and madly drank water while waiting for my turn. The catheter-thing to direct the embryo to my uterine lining was not pleasant at all this time! It’s never “nice”, but this time it really pinched and was painful. But once the doctor got it into place though, it wasn’t as bad, just a constant pinch and nothing I couldn’t handle for the short amount of time. I was in (the procedure room) and out in about 10 minutes.

Now it’s just time to wait to test in 2 weeks. I am really going to try and hold off on testing. LOL. Let’s see how I feel closer to the date.

If this doesn’t result in a BFP, I’ll start a long protocol IVF #3 with ICSI at the beginning of November.

FET tomorrow

Tomorrow is the scheduled date for my FET for the last lonely (ok quality) embryo, if it survives the thaw that is. I don’t think the clinic will call me if it survives the thaw or not. Most likely, I’ll just be told if the transfer is a go or not when I call in the morning to find out the more exact time of when I’m supposed to head into the clinic.

I also have a chiropractor’s appointment in the morning. My neck has been locked up and hurting something fierce lately (since while I was in Shanghai) and it just won’t quit. I love my chiro! On a side note, I have read that it has been beneficial to many women to go to acupuncture before and after an IUI, IVF or FET treatment. I wonder if the same could be had with going to a chiropractor? At least, I know I feel wonderful after my chiro appointments. My whole body just feels lighter and un-locked.

Let’s see how tomorrow goes…