I was at a friend’s bachelorette party this weekend. It was tons of fun, but I’m so glad it isn’t me getting married, once is definitely enough. The weather was perfect after a foggy morning start. We didn’t make the bride-to-be do any funny or silly tricks, as is the norm for most Finnish bachelorette parties. She did have a sash and crown to wear and some silk-paper flowers to hold and give out to each participant. Our plans for the day were lunch, decorating cupcakes, horseback riding (showers after), making and eating dinner and then go out for a night on the town. I left for home after the food was ready (and I scarfed down two tacos quickly) to rescue Mr Siili and Paxlet. To find that Paxlet was finally asleep by the time I got home.
Mr Siili is on his last week of holiday. We’re not sure what we’re going to do yet, but we’ll think of something fun with Paxlet.
I have less than a month before I head back to work. Paxlet will be 1 year 3 days old and I will have been off work a bit over a year. And I’m still not excited at the idea and reality of going back to work.
I know I am extremely lucky to have been away from work this long. I also know that if I was living in the US that I would have only been away from work for 6, 8 or at most 12 weeks and most (all?) of that time without pay. But I’m not in the US, I’m in Finland and here we are entitled to 10 months off work for maternity leave and then a parent can be home with the child until s/he is 3 years of age and still go back to their job. I have done the 10 months, used 1,5 months worth of holiday and now in the middle of 1,5 months of parental leave. It’s all I can afford right now. I am incredibly thankful to have this first full year home with Paxlet. I would just like more time at home with him, especially if Paxlet is (most likely) going to be my only child.
Plain and simple, I don’t want to go back to work, but I have to. We’re just not at a place where we can afford to pay our loan and live as comfortably as we’d like on one income. Thankfully I am able to work part time at 5 hours a day (25 hours a week) until Paxlet is 3 years of age. I am also thankful that Paxlet will be going to a child minder who works out of her home (through the city) instead of a big daycare. Life will go on and we will get used to our new normal, it’s just the thought of what is looming ahead that has me a bit stressed and unhappy.
I do and have been thoroughly enjoying my time home with Paxlet.
I’ll leave you with a message that Paxlet wrote while I was on the phone:
vcf yyt v fr fcd ccdcx dczsvbbbbbvgb et##%B RN6546TRF hg xz