a plane ticket, just for the two of us

And by the two of us, I’m talking about Paxlet and myself.

My youngest sibling, a brother, is getting married this summer. I’m happy for him, even if I do think he is a bit young to be getting married. I would love to go and see him get married. The problem is that I live in Finland and they live on the west coast, near the rest of my family. When I first heard of the wedding, it was going to be next summer, which I thought would be great as we could most likely make that. Then, I heard it will be this summer and I was quite bummed as  Mr Siili and I just hadn’t planned or budgeted a trip to the US any time in the near future.

Then, on Monday while I was Skypeing with my dad, my stepmom came into the room (out of the picture, but I could still hear her voice) and asked what I thought if they (my dad and stepmom) were to buy me and Paxlet a plane ticket to visit this summer, during the wedding? The way she worded it made me ask “What about Mr Siili? Do you just want Paxlet and I there, or is Mr Siili invited too?”. In short, she went on to say that she/they* would prefer that only the two of us come. She is upset (still) by the way Mr Siili treated me 2 years ago when we were in the US for my mom’s funeral (I have no idea what she is referring to) and that in her opinion Mr Siili and I have the same sort of relationship that she and my dad have and while she can handle her own relationship, she doesn’t want to see me being treated the same way my dad treats her. (In my opinion, she also still has issues with Mr Siili and me from even further back.) She did want to make it clear that no one there hates Mr Siili (previous issues), they just think it would be a more pleasant and relaxed visit if it were just the two of us. Plus, they really just want to meet Paxlet and visit with me. I told them I would have to discuss this with Mr Siili.

My heart grew heavy as soon as I heard my stepmom’s words. Not more drama… I knew this wouldn’t go over well with Mr Siili and boy, was I right. He said if his friends or family ever invited just him and didn’t want me there, he wouldn’t even have to discuss it with me, he’d immediately have an issue with the person/people and not go. While I understand where Mr Siili is coming from, I also know that even though my stepmom said “we”, it was really just her feelings. I can’t imagine my dad, sister or brothers feeling that way. And thankfully when I did call my dad today, he confirmed that.

Ugh! There is a lot of drama and back story I am leaving out of this post, but I just don’t wan to to get into it all. Basically, I would really like to go and see my little brother get married and my family (minus my stepmom right now), but I don’t know how this will play out. Things are not so good with my dad and stepmom and if I do end up going there, why would I want to spend time with my stepmom if she and my dad aren’t getting along? Plus, there is no way in hell she is going to take care of Paxlet the entire time like she tried doing with her brother’s child when they visited recently! There will be some words had if it comes to that.

*Most issues that were brought up for why it would be more pleasant without Mr Siili visiting were said using “we”. Meaning my whole family thought that, but it just so happened to be that my stepmom was the one that voiced it.


6 thoughts on “a plane ticket, just for the two of us

  1. Ugh. What a tough spot to put you in – you either go along with the rejection of your spouse or you miss out on your brother’s wedding. That was a really unfair thing for your stepmom to do. Either way you’re losing out and causing hurt feelings. I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this position.

  2. What an awful position for your stepmother to put you in. Hopefully, you will ALL be able to go to your brother’s wedding this summer. If she is the only one who has any sort of problem I see no reason why he should have to stay home. It’s your stepmother’s problem and she will have to deal with it if she wants to see you and paxlet.

  3. ouch, that’s awkward. Does this exclude Mr Siili from making his own way (1 plane ticket being slightly more manageable than 3?). That’s tricky that’s she’s worded it from ‘everyone’ when it IS just her feelings she’s conveying.

  4. Oh man, that is a rough spot. She couldn’t have just lied and said they could only afford to fly one person? (I mean, that would be a totally plausible excuse, right?) It sucks that she has put you in the position.

  5. What a tricky situation. So I guess your dad goes along with it even if he doesn’t view it the way she does. And are they both paying for the ticket I wonder, so that the money to spend is theirs so to speak. Either way, it sucks and put you in a really unfair position. So sorry you are caught between going to your brother’s wedding and stick by your husband.

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