NIAW: Say Something

So this week (April 21-27) is National Infertility Awareness Week and this year’s theme is: Say Something. And that is what I am going to do.

As Mel over at Stirrup Queens said, infertility week is every week for her and that there isn’t a week that goes by (if not more often) that she doesn’t think about infertility. I couldn’t agree with her more. Just because I have my little one, it doesn’t mean I am not infertile any more, nor that I don’t think about it, often. In fact, I am still very much aware of my infertility, especially when I think about wanting another child.

We TTC for almost 3,5 years before I got pregnant and it was 4 years and 4 days after stopping all birth control when Paxlet was born. It took us several IUIs, FETs and three rounds of fresh IVF cycles to get one single BFP that resulted in our take home baby, plus one frozen embryo still waiting for us. I have no illusions about how difficult it just might be to get pregnant again. Sure, we could be one of the “lucky ones” and my endometriosis will behave itself long enough for me to get pregnant without much/any problems, but I’m not counting on it.

While we are not TTC right now, the thought of ‘what if’ we want another one is always lurking nearby. There are many factors that I feel are against us trying to have another child. First off, We are not getting any younger (I’ll be 37 this summer and Mr Siili 39). Money is another obstacle, if we don’t get pregnant on our own. We only have the one frostie, and we don’t have ant more fresh IVF tries via the public clinic. That means that if/when we need assistance getting pregnant we will have to go through a private clinic which is more expensive (I am still very grateful to be living in Finland where ‘expensive’ is still much cheaper than in the states). And right now money is in short supply (isn’t it always?) as we have our house loan and I will only be going back to work part time, by choice, for some time. And most importantly, if there is any chance at all for me to get pregnant without any outside help, we have to have sex. So, while we aren’t TTC right now, I have put a lot of thought into it on the ‘what if’ chance.

Infertility is something I definitely think about. And often. I am also no longer silent on how long it took us to get our little guy and why it took so long. I have found that I am more than willing to say something, anything, about the disease that is infertility and how it affects me.

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7 thoughts on “NIAW: Say Something

  1. I always thought that getting (and staying) pregnant would heal me when it came to infertility but, like you, I’m finding that’s not the case. It’s always in the background, especially when I think of how this is going to be my only baby. But the one thing that has become a bit easier is talking openly about it with others.

  2. Pingback: National Infertility Week | Beyond the Parentheses

  3. You know, we have looked into going to Sweden for treatment because of the cost. It’s cheaper, even with flights and stuff. but the stress of travelling and take days off work for hubby are also a factors weighed in. At least doing a frozen cycle is less expensive than a fresh one, if you decide on trying with your frostie.

  4. I’m on hold from TTC because of a divorce, but knowing what I’ve been through and what fun awaits me when I start again….oh believe me, I think about it. IF leaves scars, even if you don’t currently have an open wound. Thank you for sharing!

  5. I’m finding that having the Boy has made me feel a lot better (unsurprisingly!), but you can’t ever be cured of being infertile. Glad to hear you’re doing well though, and sorry I haven’t been around much.

    • Yes, having my little guy does help a lot, but there is still some…weirdness and unexpected feelings at times.
      I haven’t been around much either. Such is life now, eh? 🙂

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