The only other time I remember feeling like this much of a failure was when we were TTC. I am now to the point of tears. I am so fed up with my nipples being suckled, licked and nibbled on for over 2 hours (off and on, but mostly on) at bedtime tonight. They are so insanely sensitive it hurts. Not an actual pain, but something that has been over stimulated for so long you just can’t stand it to be touched any more type of pain. Yet, if I don’t let Paxlet continue to suck, we’ll have one majorly screaming baby on our hands (again).
And that is where I feel like a failure. I just can’t seem to figure out how to get my boy to sleep without being attached at the boob, without a lot of screaming.
After writing the above words, Paxlet is finally asleep, but he is whining and whimpering. I am sure he is having nightmares about not being able to have a boob when he wants it. And the nightmares are all because of me. I feel like such a failure.