First mother’s day

Whether you’ve lost your little one too soon, have your little one with or are still waiting for your little one, I wish you a Happy Mother’s day!

Today is also Mother’s day here in Finland. (Father’s day is on a different day, though.) It’s an actual holiday here and the stores are closed. I’ve never paid too much attention to Mother’s day, whether I was in the US or in Finland. My mom never wanted any of us kids to go out and buy her stuff, she’d rather we make her something, do something nice for her and/or just be nice (every day of the year, not just this one day). But this year’s mother’s day is completely different than any other year.

This year is the first year my mom is no longer with me. She died in June of last year. And if I remember correctly, Mother’s day was the last time I heard her voice. I called her that day and we chatted a bit and that’s the last time I actually talked to her. I did type-chat with her one last time for a short period after that on Facebook where she told me my/our cat, Sabby, had died and I taught her how to make smileys.

This year is also the first year I’m a mother myself. After trying so hard and for so long (almost 3,5 years), I’ve finally got a little one growing in me. I’m nearing 7 months along and in another week and a half I’ll be in the 3rd trimester. This still feels nothing short of a miracle and for this I am grateful.

This year is such a mixture of emotions. I can’t help but be sad that my mom isn’t here to celebrate this long awaited event. But at the same time, I’m looking forward to the day when Paxlet is born and here with us.
Wherever my mom is, I’m thinking of her and missing her.


4 thoughts on “First mother’s day

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  2. Like Katriina said…a bittersweet day. But I like to think that your mom is watching over you and Paxlet and that she was with both of you yesterday.*hugs*

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