Oh boy, oh boy, am I glad it is Friday! This week has just been, very long. The stress of work finally got to me and I didn’t handle it too well.
First, a happy note about work. Earlier this week, one of the ladies on our floor was in the kitchenette area at the same time as me. She looked over at me and my tummy and exclaimed that “You’re pregnant!”. I was so tickled that someone I hadn’t told could look and see by my tummy that I am pregnant. (Sure, someone else could have told her, but that didn’t cross my mind at that point.)
As I mentioned earlier this week, I had a very long day at work on Tuesday. 10 hours and 15 minutes long, to be exact. I had gone in early in hopes of leaving early, but because of a malfunction in the software we use and other issues beyond our control, the team in Shanghai were not able to finish their tasks, which left it on our team to do it. And because the issues were something more than what anyone else in our local team has knowledge of, it was left to me to handle. I was not happy about it.
Wednesday was better at work, in that I only
needed to stay got sucked into work and forgot the time and stayed an hour extra. All week, I’ve hardly had time to do my own stuff, not to mention help with some other stuff. In addition to our daily tasks, everyone in our department is supposed to be working on this clean-up project. Our team had a meeting about this project on Thursday and our team leader was a bit harsh/firm about us getting this project worked on. Everyone should find at least 30 minutes a day to work on it, etc. I completely understand the need for this project and its importance and the hardship or ease with which it will have on us later this summer (or rather those who will still be at work late August and September). But as I’ve said, I have barely had time to keep up with my daily stuff.
After the meeting I talked to my team leader and told her about the heavy load of my work, plus the project and also the pleas for help coming from other units (that were transferred to Shanghai). I asked her which part of my job should I focus on and come first. I got my answer that my immediate tasks should come first.
The stress of work this week, the meeting about the clean-up project and feeling torn about the work I was doing just got to me. I was left feeling quite incompetent about my inability to get everything done (without staying hours and hours each day), which I know is so untrue. I’m good at what I do and I take pride in it. But it was just too much. I started getting teary and hot at my desk. Can we say hormones here? I just couldn’t help myself, so I went to the bathroom and had a cry.
After work I stopped by 2 shops to see if I could find some phone protection covers for Mr Siili’s new work phone. Again, either the shops didn’t have the right size or finally the one shop I have found that had the correct size wanted double the price. Next I went to 2 clothes stores. The first had maternity clothes, I just didn’t like any of them and I was NOT going to pay 30-40€ for them. The second shop doesn’t even sell maternity clothes?! WTF!? By this point I was just fed up, my foot was sore, I was tired and grumpy.
After I got off the bus and was walking home, about a minute away, I got a call from Mr Siili. He sounded a bit upset that he couldn’t find the charger for his phone. I told him I didn’t know where it was, but that I’d help him look as soon as I got home. He was stressed and pissy and basically upset at the universe when I got in the door and I got the brunt of it. He grumped at me, I grumped back, we yelled at each other and I cried. His phone charge ended up being right exactly where he’d originally
set it down tossed it. We didn’t really talk much the rest of the evening, although Mr Siili did come rub my shoulders and try to talk to me at one point. I wasn’t yet in a forgiving mood.
Today at work I was a tiny bit stressed in the morning, but also a very relieved that I was actually able to get my daily tasks done AND answer all of my emails from the week. I also talked to my big boss about my stress and not so good feelings of this week. She told me she understood and said my focus should be opposite of what my team leader said, as we want to minimize any further complaints from this area. I felt much better after this talk. (Mr Siili says when the big boss talks to my team leader it is going to reflect badly on me and make me look whiney. *sad face*) I even managed to solve a pain in the rear case!! And I left work only 31 minutes later than I had planed. The work week ended on a much brighter note. Still having the sun shining outside when I left didn’t hurt either.