One of those moments

A light bulb over the head moment. An ‘Aha’ moment. An epiphany moment. Whatever you want to call it, I had one of those moments this evening.

My moment was the realization that I have been quite unfair to some of my friends. Two in particular. Especially during the last few years as I’ve been going through this maze of infertility, treatments and BFNs each month, the times when I’ve been feeling alone, woe is me, none of my friends know what I’m going through, so on and so forth. Tonight, I realized that is not true. My friends have been going through their own version of IF. While it isn’t anything like what I’m going through, they are going through secondary IF also!

One friend has an almost 7yo boy. (When she was pregnant with him, that started my baby craze!) She has been trying ever since to have another child. She has been pregnant two more times, but both ended in mc. The other friend has an almost 2yo old girl. This little girl is a miracle. The doctors told my friend it wasn’t a viable pregnancy (on multiple dr visits), gave her the prescription to end it but she didn’t. She has also found out since that because of her migraines and other hormone issues, that she is very lucky her pregnancy went full term with a healthy baby.

So, while these two have a child in their life, they too are experiencing IF. That is what I didn’t see. That is what just clicked and was my ‘moment’ tonight. We are all on the same side of different coins. They may never fully understand exactly what I am going through and I can’t possibly understand their situation either, but we are all desperately wanting a(nother) child.

I am now off to share this moment with my two friends via email, because 1. it is too late to call and 2. I am such an emotional wreck tonight that I wouldn’t be able to get the words out of my mouth without breaking down into huge sobs.

Two more sleeps until I officially test.

p.s. What do the numbers (#8, #44, etc) mean for ICLW comments?
p.p.s. edited to add some clarification: I’ve known the whole time that my friends have been TTC. It just never clicked in my mind and processed as it did last night. Even though they have a child, they are now having troubles with conceiving a 2nd child. I was narrowly seeing IF (albeit secondary IF, even for me) as “not having a kid at all”.

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5 thoughts on “One of those moments

  1. Isn't it amazing the things we learn and never knew but assumed differently? I'm new here from ICLW! The # in the comments refer to the number bloggers are on the list so you can find them easier to reciprocate the commenting! I just featured your blog for blog love Monday, added your link, and I'm your newest follower!

  2. It took me a long time to understand women experiencing secondary IF. All in all the feelings are the same. And you're right it all comes down to us wanting the same thing. Think about it, once we finally do have one we'll have to start all over again for number 2! I can't even imagine doing it all over again when I can't even get to one!

  3. Thank you Krissi, for both the mention in your blog and explaining the #s. So simple, yet I just didn't get it.Thank you Cyndi. I agree, right now, I'd love to just have one.Thank you amiracle4us, thankfully once I'm tired, I usually fall asleep within minutes of my head touching the pillow. The main problem is 'going to bed'. 😀

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