Dec 7, 2010
Yesterday morning (Mon, Dec 6th) I woke up with some spotting. As the day wore on, I spotted more. I don’t think yesterday can be considered Day 1, but today definitely is.
So, that makes it official, this month is out for me. In fact, this year is out for me.
December 6th is Finnish Independence Day, so everything was closed yesterday. First thing this morning, Tuesday, I called the clinic to see what happens next.
Well, the nurse said nothing can be done this month. I’m assuming because of xmas, and potentially NYE, being in the way that that will make another round of IVF not possible right now.
I asked about the 4 embryos that they were going to continue to grow… They didn’t develope more, so those are gone. 15 eggs were harvested from me and only 2, which didn’t stick, made it back to me!
So, seeing that in Finland they will only do 3 rounds of IVF treatment, I have 2 tries left. IVF = the major hormones to get many eggs, not the actual transfer of those fertilized eggs. (I may potentially have a 4th round of IVF (if needed), I wonder if this round will be considered such a failure that I will still have 3 more goes?). I know I should focus on round 2 instead of jumping so far ahead to round 3 and maybe 4..but right now, thinking and calculating is all I’ve got.
Anyway, I should be getting the letter in the mail from the clinic soon explaining what happened to the 4 remaining eggs (as if more than “they didn’t develop” needs to be said). The letter should also tell me when I can next contact the clinic and when the next step can be taken.
Yesterday when I broke down crying, my DH actually cried with me. He said he’s sad to see me so sad. It’s the first he’s gotten emotional-sad over this whole process. I’m sorry to make him hurt so much. I’ve got to pull it together and toughen up and stop being so moody-mean to DH.
In addition, now that I’ve come out on Facebook…well, whatever, I don’t really care what FB people (in general, not specific like LIW) think. But I do have some close friends (and family) that know I’m waiting for this Thursday. I just so can’t deal with them right now. I know they mean well, but…I just don’t wanna! One friend has already texted asking if I can stand the anticipation of waiting for Thursday. I haven’t replied yet because my only thoughts are snippy and rude. (I know she’d understand though.)
That’s my thoughts for now.