#MicroblogMonday – Vomiting, part 2

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support on my freak out about vomiting last week. Tadbit only puked that night and not again. She has been a bit off on her sleep (and mood) since then, so nights have been…rougher? short? sleep deprived? all of the above

As you’d expect, siblings can’t always let well enough alone. Paxlet had to give it a go last night and vomited, once, all over his bed and himself. We’re not sure if his was actually a stomach bug or from the shit-food he ate earlier in the day. (Sausage, Karelian piirakka, pulla/sweet bun with whipped cream and jam anyone?) Paxlet is feeling ok today, but I can tell he is a bit under the weather. He’s not eating much AND he asked to go for a nap today (at 2pm, which is generally wake up time, but hey!). He fell asleep in with minimal “singing/chatting” in less than 10 minutes and slept almost 2 hours, plus he went to bed at a normal time.

As a side: Paxlet doesn’t seem to remember the event of last night. When Mr Siili or myself asked him about it, he just got a bit blank in the face and didn’t really seem to answer anything about it. Is that normal? Could it be that he was just so tired and out of it that he sort of forgot? He did fall back asleep as soon as we got him cleaned up and into bed again.

While I’m much more calm today than I was after Tadbit’s episode, I’m still on high alert for any potential signs of vomiting (cough, gurgle, hiccup, etc). I’m not sure if it is the “been there done that” effect or that Paxlet is older and can hopefully voice something about how he might be feeling, but I’m not feeling panicked. Grossed out and a slightly nervous, yet, but not panicked. The major downside to this all? I smell vomit EVERYWHERE! Seriously! on a positive, it’s only Mr Siili and I left who haven’t vomited… And I am NOT going to! I’ll stay sick several days longer if that is what it takes to not vomit.

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.


MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.


Tadbit vomited last night. Not spit up or baby puke, but full on power puke. It was the first time either of my kids had a stomach bug. (Paxlet is 3 years 5 months and Tadbit 10 months on Friday.) I am now initiated into the “have been vomited on” group. And I don’t like it one bit.

Her vomiting lasted only 6 hours and the two of us got 3+ hours of uninterrupted sleep after that. Paxlet slept through it all! Plus we napped during the day.

In the morning, Tadbit was as happy and as hungry as can be. She didn’t like that I only gave her a bit of breast milk. She demanded more! Hey, she might only be 10 months and not verbal, but when she signs ‘more’ and taps at your chest, you know she is serious. Her porridge went down well enough.

However, as the afternoon progressed, she started getting fussy, very tired and warm to the touch again. She is now in bed sleeping, but she is restless and mumbling a bit, which is how it all started last night. And it is very soon approaching the 24 hour “anniversary”. I’m freaked out.

All day, every time she has made any sort of gaggy, choke-y, not “normal” sounds, I stopped what I was doing and panicked a little. I don’t want her vomiting again. (I don’t want Paxlet vomiting either, but as he hasn’t done it yet, that worry is a bit further from my mind.) I am hyper aware of anything that could possibly remotely be vomit-like. And I am freaking. I have been traumatized by last nights episode and I’m not sure how to get over it.

I also want my mom! As childish as it sounds, I want my mom. And it hurts more that I know it won’t happen. My MIL was there for me last night and today. I just need to message or call her and she will talk with me, but as always, she isn’t MY mom.

So, I’m feeling pretty down in the dumps at the moment, even if no one is vomiting anymore (yet?). I’m worry about something that might not come to pass again tonight, or even in the near future. But I can’t help it. I don’t expect anyone to solve my “problem”. I just need to be heard.

#MicroblogMonday – Tears in Heaven

I came across a FB post today about Eric Clapton’s son Conor who died when he was 4. (He would have been 30 this year.) There was a 9 minute video about the boy’s life and death and I bawled the entire way through it. Hug your kids and loved ones a little closer.

On a happy note, I found a 5€ bill on the ground last week.

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.

The “me” on the inside

For the most part, I’ve always dressed pretty normal and nothing that outlandish. During my last two years of high school*, where I finally felt like I fit in, I dressed “hippy chick”-ish and also grunge-ish. Both styles in the same week, most likely. I got my nose pierced when I was 16 almost 17 (1993) and dyed my hair with Kool-aid a few times and even used Forest Green Manic Panic once. But for the most part, the outside me looked pretty normal.

My friends at the time dressed much more out there than me. They wore their… genre? style? personality? …much more out there for all to see. Some of my friends were skaters, punks, gutter punks (think train-hopping stinky and dirty *grin* it was true!), grunge and then there was my BFF who was very hippy chick (patchouli anyone?). All the same, but individual in our own way. We were “The Corner People“. The only other person who had their nose pierced at the time was a guy. He pierced his septum (you know, like where bull’s have the ring?) himself! This guy also stapled his pants to his legs because…I don’t remember why. And he had an amazing mo-hawk! Until he chopped it off one day, but that’s another story. This guy was very…punk.

But me, even to this day, I’m not sure how I fit in the group. Or how or why they accepted me. (But I am thankful they did!)

The inside me…that’s a whole different me. The inside me loves gothic, punk, piercings, tattoos, grunge, skater and more. I see people dressed in any of those different styles while out and about and I just want to smile at them**, admire their clothes/hair/whatever. But because I look so “normal” I am worried they’ll think I’m…a fake? a wanna be? I just don’t know how to wear those styles on a regular basis and pull it off. I also feel that the lifestyle I have chosen just doesn’t fit any of those. I’m still a pretty normal looking girl. Well, except now that I have green hair!

I have green hair! Somehow, this green hair on the outside of me has made me feel a bit more like the inside me. I can now be seen walking down the street (pushing a stroller) with my green hair. I sort of feel like I have a bit of street cred now.

My gosh this all sounds silly now that I’ve written it all down. Basically, the outer me feels a bit more like the inner me these days.

*We moved across town to the other nearby town, thus my switching high schools.

**I’ve lived in Finland too long. If you smile at or talk to anyone on the street/bus, you are either a) drunk or b) foreigner. Ok, maybe not really…but well, yeah it still does hold some truth. LOL

#MicroblogMonday – On the other side

I remembered, then forgot, remembered again, forgot once more and then it just became pointless to write a “MicroblogMonday on Thursday” post. I set an alarm on my phone to remind me today is Monday and that I want to blog. The alarm went off hours ago and I almost forgot again.
Anyway, on to what I really wanted to say.

Tadbit will soon be 10 months old (and Paxlet 3 years 5 months old). I am so done having kids. I was ecstatic beyond words when Paxlet was born. I would have been happy to have him as an only child, I told myself. Because, you know, I finally got to be a parent like I wanted. And then along came our little surprise. A sibling for our Paxlet. And now I can say with 100% honesty, the two of them have made me complete*.

Now, each month when AF is due to arrive, I find myself a little anxiously waiting for her to show up (and then immediately go away once confirmation has been made). Especially when we haven’t used any protection and last month when I was two days late! I did go get myself the Nuvaring, (even if I did say I’d not use hormonal birth control again) until my sterilization (tubal?) surgery happens sometime later this year.

I can’t believe I am on the other side of the IF bridge/journey. I’m not sure I ever imagined myself here. Yet, here I am.

*Plus, I feel too old to go through pregnancy and early baby days again.

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.

#MicroblogMonday – Hair we go!

I have an appointment on Thursday to get my hair done. It’s now been about 10 months since I’ve done a thing with it. The hair appointment is booked and baby sitter reserved! The appointment is with my favorite stylist, he was even on Finland’s version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Sillä Silmällä.

I think I’m going green/blue, with more green…

MicroblogMonday For more microposts, go visit Mel’s post at Stirrup Queens.